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Thursday, June 29, 2006

Today is mine and Lisa's 25th anniversary. Twenty-five months that is. It's more silver-plated than silver, so I've celebrated by leaving Brighton and returning to Shotley Gate for two days to pack up my computer. Which means I probably shouldn't be writing a blog post on it.

But anyhoo, yesterday was D-Day for my new sofa (D stands for delivery). And what a total success it was. Having scoured Brighton's secondhand shops last week for a sofa which would fit through my two-foot-wide front door, it was naturally a little disappointing to have to send my Mum down the road for a saw and a pot of wood glue, but you can't have everything.

The delivery men themselves did a very fine 'good cop, bad cop' routine, one of them happy to help, the other preferring to stand there saying "that's never going to fit", "there's no point trying", and "we've got to get to Peacehaven", whilst complaining that customers shouldn't go buying furniture unless they know they can get it through the front door. I was tempted to say "Well YOU tell me where I can buy a sofa which easily fits through a 2ft wide doorway then", but I didn't. Mainly because he was halfway to Peacehaven by the time I'd manoeuvred the sofa out of the door frame and stuck my head around to look at him.

So about three seconds after arriving, the men left, leaving my mother and I to take all the springs out of the back of the sofa in a somewhat optimistic attempt to get it in. When that failed, it was left to me to shove my Mum through the gap between the front legs, and out to the local hardware shop for a saw. Leaving me free to have a cup of tea, whilst simultaneously praying that my neighbour wouldn't want to get out of his flat in the next half hour.

Tools purchased, I set about covering both myself and the entrance hall in sawdust, and successfully chopped off the back legs of my lovely new sofa. After which we spent an enjoyable hour trying to re-attach all the springs, before sticking the legs back on with glue and sellotape. At which point I was beginning to see the appeal of beanbags.

Anyway, the good news is that I now have a sofa you can sit on. The bad news is that every visitor I ever have is going to wonder why half the legs of my beautiful carved wooden sofa have clearly been hacked off by a maniac and stuck back on with glue. That's if the whole thing doesn't collapse the first time my niece bounces on it. We'll find out in two days time.