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Saturday, September 16, 2006

It's interesting the things you learn about yourself when you're getting dressed for the dentist. I had an appointment yesterday for two fillings, and upon choosing my outfit for this occasion, found that I only had two decent t-shirts which weren't in the wash. So I selected my red union jack shirt and put it on. Whereupon I realised that I'm so terrified of being mistaken for a member of the BNP by my Asian dentist, and being given unnecessary root canal surgery with no anaesthetic, that I actually went back and changed.

So I set off instead in my NaNoWriMo t-shirt, arrived at the surgery at 11:40am, and met my dentist, who greeted me with a disarmingly casual "Mr G!", and immediately asked what NaNoWriMo meant. He probably thought it was a racist slur. I'm definitely wearing a suit next time.

But dress code aside, I have the fastest dentist in the west, and found myself back outside on the street, armed with two new fillings and the details of his holiday in Morrocco, by 11:58am. Leaving me free to spend the afternoon sucking on a banana and complaining to Lisa that I can't feel my face.

It's Lego Star Wars II! Whatever that is.Fortunately I perked up in time to go and visit Lisa's nephews at 6pm, who were very excited about their imminent purchase of 'Lego Star Wars II'. Lisa immediately made a fool of herself by saying "What's that?", allowing me to tut, sigh, look at her scornfully, and successfully cover up the fact that I had no idea what it was either. I eventually deduced that it's a video game, and is apparently much better than 'Lego Star Wars I'.

So I chatted to Nephew Number One about that, while Lisa tried to explain to Nephew Number Two that having dropped his chocolate lollipop in the toilet, it's probably not a good idea to fish it out and eat it. Advice he failed to fully take on board, choosing instead to cry "I want my chocolate lollipop!" whilst trying to hook it out with a toilet duck. There's just no telling some people.

So that was yesterday. As for today, well I've had an entertaining morning listening to my neighbour trying to hold a conversation through his front door with a bailiff who wants him out by Monday afternoon for non-payment of rent. What the bailiff doesn't know of course is that he's also up in court for not paying his electricity bill, but I didn't like to interrupt with minor details, so I kept quiet and watched through the keyhole, before getting Lisa out of bed to join me ringside.

In addition to learning that my neighbour, despite not paying his rent or any of his bills, is holding down a full-time job at the Department for Work & Pensions, the highlight for me was when the bailiff asked if he had a dog in there. My neighbour immediately replied yes, the bailiff pointed out that he's not allowed dogs under the rules of his tenancy, whereupon my neighbour quickly changed his mind and announced that he didn't have a dog.

Cue loud barking.

But I'm sure it'll all work out fine, and he won't cause a scene. Although obviously I'm staying in on Monday afternoon.

Anyhoo, tomorrow's an exciting day as my Big Sis flies in from Dallas (or the Kill Devil Hills, Appalachian Mountains, Colonial Williamsburg, or any of the other made-up places she claims to have been in the past week), to visit my flat. We haven't seen each other since February, and have a lot to catch up on, so she's naturally keen to make the most of this opportunity and spend as much time with me as possible.

But I don't currently have a shower, so she's refusing to stay overnight.