I had a hit yesterday from someone searching for 'my girlfriend Lisa'. I checked Google, and it turns out my Lisa page is ranked number one out of 1,710,000 websites for those three little words. I know Google are always banging on about relevancy, but surely this means I'm the only person in the world who can search for 'my girlfriend Lisa' and get the right result. It might be a great service for me, but what about everyone else?

Anyhoo, Lisa aside, is it just me, or is it a bit breezy out there today? I walked down to the beach this afternoon, only to find (just before I was blown off my feet) that the sea looked like the Thunder River ride at Thorpe Park, and that what I thought was rain hitting me in the face, tasted salty and was in fact seawater. As I staggered along the seafront into an 80mph gale, involuntarily chewing on a bit of seaweed, and wondering whether the woman in the photo was really out jogging, or just caught up in a weather front and unable to stop, I couldn't help thinking that only a complete fool would be out in conditions like these.

And then, as if to prove it, I bumped into David Van Day. Seriously. But judging by the look on his face, I'm sure he was thinking the same about me.