One of the most irritating things about Lisa, in fact probably the thing I dislike about her more than anything else in the whole wide world, is the fact that she listens to 'Danny & Nicky in the Morning' on Southern FM. And thereby also inflicts it on me at a time of day when I really should be peacefully dreaming about penguins. But as if Danny & Nicky weren't annoying enough on their own, for reasons I've yet to fathom, they have a feature at 7:15am every morning entitled 'The Knowledge', in which listeners who clearly have no access to the internet, phone up and ask a question they've always wanted to know the answer to. At which point newsreader Kathryn Langley has ten minutes to 'research' (ie. enter into Google) the question of the day, and come back with the answer.

I wouldn't mind if any of the questions were actually interesting, but Danny & Nicky only seem to allow access to people whose second question is invariably "What's my name again?", and whose thirst for knowledge doesn't extend much beyond what they're having for tea tonight. Today, however, the show plumbed new depths. Instead of sleeping through to a reasonable time, I was awoken at dawn this morning to hear a woman phone up with the question "Why is a house called a house?"

Having stared at my clock-radio open-mouthed for a good ten minutes while Kathryn went off to find the answer, I then heard her return to give the following explanation:

"The word 'house' comes from the verb 'to house', meaning to provide accommodation for or give a home to, which is why we use it to mean a home or somewhere we live."

Words can't even begin to express how I feel about that. I'd have the whole station shut down for wasting the listeners' time.