A fortnight ago it was Footvolley; this time the sport-you've-never-heard-of being played down at Madeira Drive on a Sunday afternoon is...

... Ultimate Frisbee. Although it's shortened to just 'Ultimate' when Frisbee's trademark lawyers are around. According to the commentator at pitchside, it's a cross between American Football and Netball. So it really ought to be played by small girls with shoulder pads.

Anyhoo I spent an hour or so down at the Yellowave Beach Sports Centre yesterday afternoon watching the Nivea Sun Ultimate Showcase, and trying to spot the cameras from Sky Sports, which the commentator swore were there. Mind you, this is the same commentator who said "The crowd are calling for the disc of his dreams..." when the only spectators were me and a couple of teenage girls, one of whom was on her mobile telling someone she was watching volleyball. So I'm not sure you can believe everything he says.

I did, however, like his commentary when a player with receding hair made a lunging dive for the disc and got showered with sand. The commentator was straight on the mic to announce that "Dave Barnard's got sand in his hair... sorry, he's got sand on his head". John Motson eat your heart out.