My Mum posted me a birthday card on 26th July, first class, from Chelmsford in Essex. It arrived five days later on 31st July. My Big Sis meanwhile posted me a card and present the day after my birthday (I think there's some kind of time delay in the southern hemisphere) on 30th July from Perth, Western Australia. It arrived yesterday morning, seven days after she mailed it.

So it's official - Essex to Sussex is two days quicker than Perth to Brighton. It's another victory for Royal Mail.

On the downside, it's hard to maintain the element of surprise when you're forced to write on the front of the parcel what's inside...

I've blanked out Big Sis's signature for security reasons. Although if you do want to try and recreate it, you'll need one spider, two bottles of ink and a lot of imagination.

You'll notice that the valuation box has been left blank. That's because patterned tissues are essentially worthless. But thanks Sis, they're just what I've always wanted.

In other news, I'm considering going to see an edible building this week. A group of people with too much time on their hands are currently down at the library constructing a 16ft tall replica of the Royal Pavilion out of rice. You're right, it is a good idea. They apparently need volunteers, so I plan to do my bit by heading down there with a kettle and a couple of saucepans.