Lisa and I went to Asda last night. As you can see from the shopping list opposite, Lisa needed the basic staples of waffles and ice cream, but eventually decided against apples on the grounds that she can get most of her five-a-day from the fruit shortcake.
As for me, I was stocking up on potatoes, lentils, and anything on special offer. I've now lost 25lbs since I moved from Shotley Gate to Brighton last year, which I'd like to claim is down to the sea air and healthy lifestyle, but is probably more to do with the fact that if I want to pay the rent then I can't afford to eat.
So while Lisa was chatting to her two friends Ben & Jerry in the freezer department, I was haunting the fruit & veg aisle looking for bargains, and what should I find but these...
It's Elizabeth Potatoes, personally harvested by a man in jeans with a stick. And they're currently on offer at Asda for a pound. But that's not all. As I rummaged around in the box for the ones with the longest date, I thought "hang on, I recognise that view...", and started reading the blurb:
"Philip Mayhew grows 33 acres of Elizabeth [she sounds like a big girl] as part of 700 acres of potatoes grown on his farm on the Shotley Peninsula near Ipswich, Suffolk. Elizabeth is a popular new potato exclusively grown for Asda"
THEY'RE SHOTLEY POTATOES!
I was so excited, I almost didn't notice that they've put "exclusively grown" instead of 'grown exclusively'. Next they'll be saying he boldly goes where no farmer has gone before. But I digress.
That's the River Orwell in the background, and the footpath where I spent many a happy hour being bitten by flies and chased by a weasel. There's every chance that I personally trod on Phil's potatoes as I took an illegal shortcut to the river. It's like a little bit of Shotley Gate has followed me to Brighton. Thank God it's a root vegetable, and not my neighbour at number 7.
The question is, if the Shotley farmers are growing Shotley potatoes, are they being dug up by the Shotley Hoes?