Lisa's Mum came round for the evening last night, so to avoid having to cook her anything, I naturally headed for the local fish & chip shop. The Kemp Town Chippy is run by a little Chinese fella (so I presume the Peach Blossom Takeaway around the corner is owned by a strapping northerner called Les), and as I always have to wait a dog's age for Lisa's scampi (why she can't order cod like everyone else, I have no idea), Mr Chippy and I have had a chance to bond over recent months.
The man has clearly integrated into British society a lot better than some of the local Poles, who still feel it's acceptable to max out the volume on their stereo systems at 3 o'clock in the morning, so we spent an enjoyable five minutes talking about the weather. Having agreed that it's more like autumn, and something needs to be done, the Chipster leaned forward conspiratorially and said this:
"When I arrived in this country twenty-two years ago, my brother told me one thing..."
I checked that no one else was listening, and joined him over the counter. He continued...
"The British weather is like a woman. You never know what it's going to do next."
And they say the descendants of Confucius are unknown. That man is wasted cooking haddock for a living.
As if to prove the philosophy, Lisa persuaded me to hand over her birthday card last night. It's not actually her birthday until Saturday, but she's hurtling towards forty at breakneck speed (only two years to go now), so there's no time to lose, and as she told me last night, "I'll get more use out of it if I have it now".
I avoided the Pound Shop (you can get cards cheaper at Asda), and eventually settled on this high quality penguin offering. The front says "On your birthday, remember... I love you because you are unique...", while the inside adds "... unique being the posh term for 'slightly nuts'."
Under that I wrote "It's funny because it's true". I'm not sure she agreed.
But no matter, because today is actually my birthday. Kind of. In November last year we went to see Pink hover in mid-air above the stage of the Brighton Centre, and I enjoyed it so much that I bought tickets to see her again tonight. Tickets which Lisa then bought from me when she realised she had no idea what to get me for my birthday last month.
Last year we had standing tickets; this year we have seats. None of us are getting any younger.