I've applied for two jobs today. I know, you wait weeks for one to turn up, and then I go and apply for two in a day. I'm clearly lowering my standards. The first is a Clinical Trials Pharmacy Assistant at the hospital, which basically involves giving drugs to volunteers, watching their heads swell up, and then handing out the compensation forms.

As part of my research, I've just read this article on the BBC website about the Parexel drugs trial last year which went so spectacularly right (bearing in mind that the whole point of these trials is to highlight problems with the drugs), and I couldn't help noticing this line:

"The worst affected of the group was 20-year-old Ryan Wilson. His fingertips and toes have been amputated, and he says he will never achieve his ambition of becoming a plumber."

I shouldn't laugh. But really, he needs to set his sights a little higher. If your first thought upon losing all your fingers and toes is "Good God, I'll never be able to change a washer", then you clearly need to get out more. But still, at least he can wear socks on his hands now.

The second job I've applied for is far more exciting, but I'm not going to reveal what it is here, for fear that it'll appeal to half the population of Brighton, and I'll be beaten to the post by someone who read about it on my blog. But before anyone asks, it doesn't involve lion taming. Although I do have my own hat.