It's Lisa's nephew's birthday tomorrow.
Here he is doing his Hitler impression. That photo was taken about a year ago, before he learnt to goose-step. These days he looks more like a Sumo wrestler.
Anyway, he'll be two years old on the 28th, as proved by this blog post from 2005. Unfortunately that means nothing to one of Lisa's friends, who's just phoned me up to say that she wants to buy him a birthday card with his age on, but thought she ought to double check first that he'll be three. I said he will be. In a year's time.
The trouble is I'm just not assertive enough, and despite knowing for a fact that Lisa's nephew will be two tomorrow, I was forced to undergo a battery of advanced psychological tests (which consisted mainly of being asked "Are you sure?" about ten times in a row) until I began to question everything I know to be true, and admitted that maybe I was only 99% sure he'll be two. As a result she said she wouldn't buy him a card with his age on, and put the phone down. To be honest, I don't really know why she rang up.
But talking of wasting my time, Lisa was due to finish work at 5pm yesterday afternoon, so being the kind of romantic boyfriend who likes to surprise his partner with touching gestures of love, I decided to meet her from work with a big bunch of shopping from Somerfied. Mainly so that she could help me carry it home.
What I didn't know, as I sat on the wall outside her workplace for a quarter of an hour in the freezing cold, clinging to a bottle of milk for warmth, was that she'd left work half an hour early, and was back at my flat playing Mahjong on the computer. Next time I try to be spontaneous, I think I'll check with her first.