It's now more than seven weeks since I last applied for a job at the hospital (it's so long ago, I had a moustache in those days), and having heard nothing back from them, I think it's now safe to assume that my CV's in the hazardous waste incinerator. But the good thing is, I'm not easily put off. That may have been my fourth application to work there, but I don't think you can really call yourself a failure until you've been turned down five times. So I'm giving it another go.

This time my vacancy of choice is 'Medical Laboratory Assistant', so there'll probably be a lot of applications from mice, and the job advert says "Reliable conscientious applicants are invited to apply for the above position in the Cytology Department". Obviously you wouldn't be an applicant unless you did apply, but ignoring that, I think it's me to a T. True, I couldn't be relied upon to write a blog post yesterday, but I think I'd do a lot better if I was being paid. And I'm so conscientious that I've already looked up 'cytology' in the dictionary. It turns out to be nothing to do with Tom Cruise's religion.

Anyhoo, with a bit of luck I should be in the cells come Christmas. And talking of which, I started my Christmas shopping yesterday. Lisa's decided she's not doing Christmas this year (although she still wants me to add her name to any gifts I send), so with festive joy in my heart, I merrily crossed her off my gift list and headed into town for a bit of yuletide spending. Two hours later I'd been around all the charity shops, bought myself a couple of videos, eaten a sandwich and picked up a migraine, but it's fair to say the Christmas shopping could have been a bit more successful. I did buy two packs of cards though (Christmas, not playing), so I've got something in which to write "Sorry I didn't get you a present".

In other news, Lisa and I are about to enter the pop charts. Kind of. Six weeks ago we spent an enjoyable evening staring at the Floors and Walls of the Joogleberry Playhouse. What we didn't realise at the time was that the event was being filmed. So anyone who wasn't impressed by the video of Floors + Walls in the multi-storey car park (I'm looking at you, mother) should try this one on for size.

You won't see me or Lisa per se, but if you pay close attention, at precisely 1:57 you'll see a flash. Which was me taking this photo...


Probably. I'm claiming it is, anyway. Next Monday, What To Do is being released as a single, and that acoustic version constitutes the b-side of some kind of digital download. Whatever that is. Personally I still buy my music on plastic discs. The important thing, however, is that by this time next week I could be famous for flashing in a public place. Don't say I didn't warn you.