This sign was on display outside Lidl this morning...


Not just in the car park, surely..?

Anyhoo, it's been stimulating, but sadly my unofficial paternity leave comes to an end today. Assuming I can get get out of bed in the morning, I return to work tomorrow. I've already been gone longer than intended - my two weeks were up on Wednesday, but I asked for more time on the grounds that Amelie's too cute to leave, and I was busy taking photos. I also promised to restock the pharmacy cake table if I could stay off until Monday. Naturally they agreed.

Becoming a father has already changed my working life in ways I could never have foreseen. For a start I've become so sleep-deprived that I accidentally put my NHS ID card through the washer-dryer. It'll probably no longer work in the security swipecard machine, but on the plus side it's never been so shiny. It's just a shame no one will see it because I won't be able to get in.

As for Amelie, she was out most of yesterday. Frankly she treats this place like a hotel. In the morning I walked her across town in the baby carrier to get her used to charity shops at an early age. She slept through most of it, but she did decide to cry in the PDSA shop, so I don't think she likes animals. We also received some compliments from a stranger in the pound shop, who congratulated me on a job well done, and said we looked good together. You only ever get single mothers in the pound shop, so we obviously stood out from the crowd.

Having stayed out long enough to allow Lisa to get some sleep, Grandma Gardner then arrived to give us both a rest. Apparently they spent the afternoon at the Brighton Breeze, which is handy because if Amelie keeps refusing to stay in the Moses basket, I'll be making her sleep outside in a camper van.

To be honest, we've had a few difficult nights in the past week, which is a worry when I'm due to return to work. I might not have the energy to eat flapjacks. A lot of Health Visitors now recommend three-in-a-bed romps, but having tried it on Friday, I'm not sure I'm cut out for threesomes. It's not easy to sleep with a wriggling piglet lying next to you. And Amelie doesn't help either. So I've commandeered an emergency mattress for the living room. She's not even three weeks old, and I'm walking out on my daughter.