If there's one thing I wasn't expecting to see today, it's the sight of my daughter lying on a guillotine in the middle of the hospital. I've heard of NHS cuts, but this is going too far.

As it happens, I was walking past the open door of the graphic design department this morning (on my way to the toilet), when my eye was caught by a familiar face looking back at me from the paper cutter just inside their office. At first I thought it was Lisa's Mum without her hair on, but it turned out to be Amelie. Naturally I wanted to know why my daughter was being given the chop by senior management, so I walked straight in (without knocking) and asked what was going on.

As it turns out, the communications team (who've been strangely silent for the past couple of months) have finally decided on the locations for the hospital's new range of infection control posters, and in the words of our senior graphic designer, "Amelie's going everywhere". In particular, her beaming face will be adorning the entrance of the Royal Alexandra Children's Hospital, reminding everyone who walks through those doors to wash their hands. Which is ironic, because hers are usually filthy.

She'll also be facing the canteen, presumably in an effort to take people's minds off the food, and "on the wall under the stairs". Which doesn't sound like what you'd call a prime location, but is apparently home to an important hand gel dispenser.

I don't yet have a date for when the flyposting will take place, but Lisa's already standing by the front door with her shoes on. The hospital's only over the road, so I think she'll be checking on a daily basis. Obviously we're likely to be arrested when we're spotted loitering near sick children with a camera, but fortunately I can prove I'm related to the poster child on looks alone. Lisa's the only one who'll be locked up.