We never did go trick or treating in the end. Amelie tricked me by going to bed at 7pm, so I treated myself to an Asda shopping trip instead. I have to say, it's a slightly unsettling experience doing your weekly shop on the evening of Halloween. The place was full of people on their way to parties, which would be fine if they weren't all dressed as vampires and zombies. I almost ran my trolley over Dracula's cape in the baked bean aisle. I also saw a couple dressed in bin liners with blood all over their faces, picking up painkillers in the medicine aisle. Either they were heading for a Halloween party, or they have a lot of faith in the power of paracetamol.

Asda had a fantastic display of Halloween products, complete with mood lighting and an audio track of appropriately spooky sounds. Unfortunately it was at the back of the greetings card aisle, and I needed to buy a birthday card. You've no idea how difficult it is to choose something cheerful whilst listening to violent screams and moans of pain. I kept being drawn towards the get well soon cards.

But I managed to get my shopping and drive home through the hordes of tiny ghosts and pirates who seemed to be roaming the length of Eastern Road at way past their bedtime. Lisa and I barricaded ourselves in for the rest of the evening, but as this night-vision CCTV footage shows, the witches were out after midnight...


Fortunately Supernanny is on her way. Amelie's Auntie Marie will be here in two hours time. And she lives in Croydon, so she's used to dealing with youth crime.