If there's one thing I've always said, it's that Lisa's Mum looks like a witch...


Which is Witch?
Well ok, I've never said that. But Lisa's sister has.

The word on the street (in Hove at least) is that the moment Amelie puts on a cheap wig and scary face, she instantly morphs into the spitting (well, dribbling) image of her grandmother. In the words of Lisa's sister, "She's got the Greening eyes". And the greening hair, obviously. It's only a matter of time before she has glaucoma and is failing to recognise her own children in Safeway.

But in other news, Lisa was mocking me last night for the fact that I have a dictionary with pictures. She's just jealous because she has no idea what a solenoid looks like. Personally I've been using the Illustrated Oxford Dictionary for more than ten years now. It's useful to be able to look up a word like elasmobranch, see a photo of a Great White bearing down on you, and not waste any time reading the definition. But Lisa just thinks I'm backward.

So to get my revenge, I told her that in addition to having pictures on every page, my dictionary is also unusual for the fact that it doesn't list the word 'gullible'. Obviously no one's fallen for that joke since I was about eight years old, but I thought it was worth a try. And if I hadn't burst out laughing at the wrong moment, I'd have got a photo of her looking it up.