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Thursday, November 12, 2009

I've spent today with the old dears of Uckfield, whilst doing my best to avoid the old deer on the roads. I like the diabetics of Uckfield. They all live on farms, milk their own cows and sit in the waiting room reading Country Life. One of them even showed me the scars on his legs where he fell into the combine harvester (or something. To be honest, I didn't really follow the story). I did have to change the address of one patient though. She told me that now she's a week away from her 84th birthday, she's decided to give up the farm and just live in the farmhouse.

I also met a gentleman who told me that the lady he saw last year was "a right grump" and asked me who it was. I told him it could be any one of my colleagues, and he'd have to be more specific.

Well ok, I didn't. And it's just as well, as it turned out he had us confused with a different appointment. I did, however, spend the day swanning around Uckfield Hospital like I own the place, and letting everyone think I'm a consultant. Which would have worked if I hadn't walked into town at lunchtime and met two of my patients whilst rummaging through the second-hand clothes in a charity shop. I had to pretend I was a victim of NHS cuts.

But talking of people with delusions of grandeur, I'm pleased to report that after weeks of trying to train Amelie not to climb on the coffee table by wagging a finger and saying "No!", she's finally learnt a valuable lesson.

She's learnt how to wag her finger and say no.

I'm just surprised there isn't a book in her hand.