It's me and Amelie soaking up the south coast sunshine on a bank holiday weekend...
That's a parasol I'm holding. And Amelie's trying to protect her face from sunburn.
We've actually been at my parents' house in St Leonards since Thursday evening, where we've retreated for a bit of rest and recuperation. It's like rehab for the downhearted. And it has free creche facilities.
We still feel a bit sad about the loss of our baby, but fortunately we have a super-sub on the bench. Although I'd rather she hadn't sat there in the pouring rain. By the time she got up, those tights needed a lot more than a ladder to escape the pool of water she was sitting in.
Lisa's body seems to think she's still pregnant, and has been making her feel as tired as Gordon Brown looks, so I've spent the weekend taking Amelie for long walks in the hope of doing the same to her. As a result, I'm now so knackered I can barely keep up with the girl.
We've spent a lot of time on the beach, picking up stones, jumping in rock pools, and stroking passing dogs (not always with their owners' consent), but the nicest walk took place yesterday afternoon, because Lisa came with us. The three of us toddled all the way to Hastings, where we found a seafront gift shop selling coffee mugs which say 'Proud to be a Health Service Worker'. I was going to buy one, but pride tends to go before a fall, and Amelie had already pulled me over once that day. I've got a bruised arm from running downhill at high speed, trying to keep hold of the toddler reins.
Anyhoo, we spent an hour in Hastings town centre yesterday, where we met a man who was trying to convert people to Christianity by singing Nessun Dorma, and a bloke canvassing for the Labour Party in a giant fox suit. I'm not sure either was very succesful.
But on the subject of local wildlife, my parents went to the AGM of their residents' association on Friday, where they learnt that one of their neighbours has a somersaulting ferret. No, really. Apparently it's going to be performing at a street party in July, without the aid of a safety net. Needless to say I'll be visiting that weekend with my camera. 'You've Been Framed' pay good money for that sort of thing.
And as if that wasn't enough animalistic excitement, my Mum saw a badger in the garden on Friday night. I've been attempting to film it ever since, but despite tying Lisa to a tree like Fay Wray, I haven't managed to lure it back. There's also a slight concern that it could be dangerous to have large mammals roaming around on the patio, and that Amelie's likely to have TB by the end of the week. I suggested contacting the local Brock Advisory Centre for a risk assessment, but as Lisa helpfully pointed out, "We could just invite Big Sis over. She'd kill it for us in no time".