Well, as of 4 o'clock this afternoon, we're back from Somerset. I've eaten enough cheese to clog the arteries of a hippo, Amelie's grazed her knee, Lisa's caught the sun, and we all smell faintly of apples.

As luck would have it, the holiday camp where we stayed had free wi-fi. Unfortunately my laptop doesn't. Frankly it barely has Windows. So I'm slightly disappointed to see that Big Sis has let me down on the blogging front. As I drove down the M5 on Monday, she was assuring me that she'd be taking full advantage of my absence by turning this place into some kind of speed awareness shrine, possibly with scans of her latest parking tickets, and photos from all ten of Wiltshire's Gatso cameras.

Unfortunately, by lunchtime on Tuesday, she was texting me to say that she'd underestimated the amount of time she'd have for blogging after doing a twelve-hour working day and a three-hour commute. So she's clearly struggling to subtract 15 from 24. As a result, she was unable to write anything more than an absence note.

But the good news is that whilst my old laptop might be about as compatible with modern technology as a Betamax video recorder, it does have enough working keys to allow me to scratch out a blog post by the light of a camping stove. So I'll be back in the morning with part one of 'What I Did On My Holidays'.

And in the meantime, here's a groovy chick I met round the back of our caravan...


Frankly the place was wall-to-wall birds.