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Friday, May 14, 2010

The thing about big-budget movie production is that there are always unexpected hold-ups. Word has reached me from the East Sussex film set this morning that we're now in possession of some higher quality footage. Having worked through the night, the film crew discovered that my actors look better with the light on. So I've temporarily halted production in the editing suite until I get my hands on the latest action.

But while my Director of Photography continues to badger the local wildlife on location in St Leonards, I really should write an update on the slapstick comedy that is my sister's life. It was Big Sis's birthday on Wednesday. I didn't buy her a present because... well, because I barely know which country she's in, never mind what address she's living at on any given day. But I thought about getting her something, and it’s the thought that counts.

The last time I mentioned her, she was murdering armadillos in the deep south of America. Since then, she's had a near miss with a deer. It was quite spooky, because having swerved to avoid Bambi's Dad on a US highway, the sat-nav in her hire car flashed up the word 'STAG'. Ten seconds earlier, and she might not have clipped his antlers. It’s a handy safety feature though. If Australian cars had it fitted as standard, there'd be one more kangaroo in the world.

That was a couple of weeks ago, and Big Sis is now back in Britain. Where she's picked up another speeding fine in Wiltshire. Apparently though, this one was "an error". Much like her decision to take up driving.

But if you think that Big Sis would get into a lot less trouble if she just parked her car somewhere and left it, you'd be wrong. She texted me on Wednesday to say that she was in Weymouth at the beginning of the week, where she overslept by ten minutes, went to move her car, and found she'd got a parking ticket. So she drove into town in disgust (that's a Ford Disgust), paid & displayed for half an hour, returned to her car seven minutes late, and discovered another ticket. That's two within an hour of getting up, which isn't bad by anyone's standards. And on the bright side, it could solve my birthday present dilemma. I wonder if Weymouth Council does gift vouchers?