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Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Stealing chocolate from graves is all very well, but for me, the undoubted highlight of Easter Sunday was the moment when Lisa committed a terrible faux pas by waving to Big Sis's ex-boyfriend as he drove past with his new squeeze. As everybody should know, the only acceptable way to view him is through the scope of a sniper rifle. Waving is definitely out. Unless he's heading over Niagara Falls without a life jacket.

Personally I'm in the clear. Sis thinks I tactfully ignored him, but in reality I have the memory of a goldfish, and didn't recognise the man. I assumed Lisa was just flirting with strangers.

But on the subject of men you'd like to see nailed to a cross, Easter is, of course, a Christian festival, so having eaten some heavenly chocolate, what better way to celebrate Jesus' life than by heading to the centre of the Pagan world and recreating the parable of The Good Shepherd...

That's Amelie chasing the lamb of God in the mystical village of Avebury. It's popular with new age types because you can get stoned without spending any money. I was hoping to pick up some kind of psychic energy, but as it turned out, I couldn't even get a mobile phone signal. Wikipedia gave me this piece of information though:

"Due to the fact that various Pagan, and in particular Druid groups perform their ceremonies at the site, a rota has been established, whereby the Loyal Arthurian Warband (LAW), the Secular Order of Druids (SOD) and the Glastonbury Order of Druids (GOD) use it on Saturdays".

So it's SOD's LAW that GOD will be there on a Saturday. Meaning we missed him by twenty-four hours. I did, however, see an old witch.

That's not her. That's Lisa hanging out at the henge. If she looks happy, it's because Amelie had just disappeared over the horizon with Big Sis.

It was two minutes later that we rounded a corner (in the stone circle) and met the Wicca basket-case. She was dressed in black and carrying a guitar, so for a moment I thought it was Johnny Cash, but she turned out to be some kind of witch woman. I was slightly unsettled, especially when she climbed a tree in front of us and started strumming 'I Put a Spell On You' (or something similar), but ultimately she seemed pretty harmless. We were probably at more risk from the Japanese tourists we passed a few minutes earlier. They could have been radioactive.

Anyhoo, here's Big Sis and me rocking out in Avebury at the end of our walk...

Amelie's not in the picture. She was searching the giant gravestones for chocolate eggs.


Anonymous said...

The parable of the Good Shepherd includes the phrase: ' the man who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber.'

I think Jesus had your daughter in mind.

'old' friend said...

Poor sheep!!

Dave said...

Why does this blog insist on calling me 'Guest'?

A Passer-by said...

The sheep have heard how Amelie picks up Chloe and carries her around.   No wonder they run!!

jon the bassist said...

Is Lisa on a ancient bob sleigh course?