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Monday, July 25, 2011

I was strapping Amelie into her car seat yesterday afternoon to bring her back home from St Leonards, when, completely out of the blue, she turned to me and said in a perfectly calm, clear voice:

"Don't ever hurt me again, Daddy."

That's one to stop you in your tracks. It was like a scene from the exorcist, but with less vomit. Frankly, if a passer-by had overheard it, I'd now be in a police cell, being questioned by social services. As it is, I think my Mum and Lisa have their suspicions. So I'd just like to state for the record that with the exception of the time I elbowed her in the head, and the day I dislocated her arm in Lidl, I've never laid a finger on that girl. Although obviously I've been tempted.

Besides, I'd be a fool to start battering my daughter now. She's just beginning to show the kind of talent that could make me a fortune. Just look at this fancy footwork...

She's like a young George Best. Only more articulate.

That's her running rings around a talented opposition line-up which included a septuagenarian with varicose veins, and a woman with no teeth.

Here she is perfecting the famous Chris Waddle step-over...

And here she is attempting a cheeky back-heel...

To be honest, there comes a point when you start to wonder if that's a genuine display of silky soccer skills, or just an inability to kick the ball. But either way, she should be good enough for England.


Dave said...

Doesn't she know it's the cricket season?  You should be teaching her how to spin the ball like her father.

Phil's Mum said...

She certainly puts me to shame, both with her ability to kick the ball and to kick it straight!  Mind you, her mother's pretty good too, so that's probably who she takes after.