Subscribe: Subscribe to me on YouTube

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Ok, first the good news: I've lost 2lb in 36 hours through not eating, general worry, and possible water loss from crying. And I'm not the one living on mashed bananas and soup. I can definitely recommend the Lisa Accident Plan for fast, dramatic weight loss. But it probably won't make you happy.

On another positive note, I've so far managed to avoid arrest for domestic abuse. By the time we left the emergency dentist on Monday night, I'm convinced he was on the verge of phoning the police. Let's face it, he had a woman who looked like she'd been punched in the mouth, was too scared to speak, and who was accompanied by her husband, who did all the talking and related a far-fetched story about falling into a glass sideboard. It's a miracle I didn't leave in handcuffs.

On the downside, Lisa's still traumatised by the whole experience, and suffering badly. Her face has come out in purple and yellow bruises, and whilst her cut lip is already healing nicely, her gums are still bloody and bruised. In addition to losing one complete tooth, another two have been knocked badly, and she's very shaken up. Frankly she's been through such a trauma, the News of the World are probably hacking her phone as we speak.

With bizarre timing, I'm due back at the podiatrist this morning, but this afternoon we'll be at the dentist to begin the recovery process. Her appointment's at tooth-hurty. You couldn't make it up.


Dave said...

In 50 years you'll be able to laugh about this.

Phil's Mum said...

At this rate they won't live another 50 DAYS!

Z said...

What a terrible fall, it must have been terrifying for Lisa when it happened. No wonder you're both traumatised.