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Tuesday, July 26, 2011

If there's one thing I've always said about my sister, it's that she makes you appreciate the precious nature of divorce. She only visited Malta a week ago, and they've already changed the law to legalise marriage break-ups. It's as though they took one look at Big Sis, and realised that you can't expect men to stick around forever.

Of course, the alternative explanation is that every man she met there now wants to divorce his wife. Which probably makes more sense. I have it on good authority that 'There's Something About Mary' was based on my sister's life.

On the subject of Big Sis, it's my birthday on Friday, so we were planning to drive down to Wiltshire tomorrow evening to celebrate in style by spending the weekend in Devizes. It's the clubbing and party capital of the UK. That's the Rotary Club and Conservative Party, obviously. Sis had promised to push the boat out and treat us to some milk from the late-night garage.

Unfortunately, following the events of the past fortnight, we've sadly taken the decision to postpone the trip. One of our main motivations for going was to eat out every night at The Well at Bulkington, but with Lisa still reluctant to open her mouth in public, there seems little point in a gastronomic tour of Wiltshire. She could suck some soup through a straw, but the strawberry shortcake's likely to prove difficult. Not least because she'd have to order it from behind a napkin.

So we've changed our plans, and will be heading back to St Leonards instead. We can't eat out there either, but my Mum knows the number of a good pizza delivery firm.


Phil's Dad said...

I'm looking forward to seeing Lisa eat pizza with a straw!!

Phil's Mum said...

I wonder what pizza is like if you put it in a blender.

jon the bassist said...

This is what Lisa needs

Dave said...

I did know it's your birthday on  Friday, I didn't need the hint.