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Saturday, November 12, 2011

Sponsor Me!It's a well known fact that the best way to spice up a relationship is to invite another woman into your bed. So having identified the cracks in our marriage on Wednesday, Lisa and I applied the Polyfilla of love last night by having a threesome with the lady from the flats down the road.

About ten minutes after publishing yesterday's blog post and settling down for a date night with my wife, Lisa had a phone call from her mother. The woman hasn't been well for a week, which is how she managed to get out of coming to Amelie's christening. I've never been so jealous. We think it's probably just a heavy cold, but yesterday she was sick a couple of times, and by the evening she'd gone from Greta Garbo to Mae West, and felt less inclined to be alone.

So at 7:20pm, I cancelled our date and went up to see her. Five minutes later, I was bringing my mother-in-law back here with an overnight bag. It's not the most romantic way to spend an evening, but it seemed like the right thing to do. We made her sit through the Big Brother final, then she joined Lisa in the double bed while I slept in the living room. So it won't be me picking up her germs.

She'll probably be here all day, which means there'll shortly be a pitched battle in the living room between the rival fans of CBeebies and Channel 4 Racing, but in the meantime, I've retreated to the bedroom, from where I witnessed an exciting helicopter rescue of a body in the sea near Brighton Marina this morning...


Although you'll have to take my word for it, because frankly the video's rubbish.

5 comments:

A Passer-by said...

You should have been watching a few years ago!!  See: http://www.britishpathe.com/record.php?id=72193

Phil's Mum said...

You're all heart!  You could have made the invalid sleep on the floor of Amelie's room, on top of all the soft toys, but no, you gave up your own bed.

All the best for a quick recovery, Lisa's Mum.  (I'm sure its not a punishment for missing church last Sunday!)

Phil's Mum said...

Strangely, the video gets clearer each time you watch it - or is that just my eyes?!

Phil said...

I re-did it in high definition. I didn't think it made much difference, but maybe I'm wrong...

Phil's Mum said...

It wasn't just my imagination then!