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Monday, December 26, 2011

It's Amelie on Christmas Day!

A-M-E-L-I-E
Those beautiful wooden letters were given to her by Lisa's friend, Dot. They're useful because they allow me to label her when she's having a tantrum.

Not that you should label children, obviously. Unless you're sending them through the post.

Anyhoo, that was Amelie having the time of her life yesterday. To be honest, when you've started your day with a cuddly antelope in a dress, things can only go downhill. And sure enough, Christmas Day at Gardner Towers didn't quite go according to plan. Big Sis had arrived for the festive season on Friday, with Lisa, Amelie and myself getting here on Saturday. That just left the Essex wing of the family, who were due to arrive at 1pm yesterday in time for Christmas dinner.

Unfortunately, my brother phoned at twelve-thirty to say they hadn't left yet. Apparently my sister-in-law had been out for an Asian meal on Christmas Eve, and her stomach was Thai'd up in knots. Having pulled everything out of the oven, and become the first people ever to extend the concept of par-baking to turkey, we anxiously awaited news, and were delighted to receive a text message at 3pm to say they were leaving.

And slightly less delighted to get another one at 3:45 to say they'd turned back. Needless to say, some people couldn't wait any longer for their lunch...

The Last Supper
That's Amelie saying grace, and praying that her Aunt & Uncle will arrive safely with presents. She's the only person in Britain who eats salad cream with her Christmas dinner. Apart from Lisa's Mum.

The most tragic part of this tale is that my brother and sister-in-law were bringing the desserts. I'm not saying I don't value their company on Christmas Day, but when they're in possession of a Crème Brûlée Cheesecake and a Raspberry & Mascarpone Roulade, I do feel the loss more keenly.

Sadly, however, we had no choice but to soldier on without them. Big Sis and Amelie did their best to lift our spirits by performing a dance routine to 'Reach' by S Club 7. I have the whole thing on video, but sadly I've been threatened with violence if I publish it on the web. Which is bizarre for someone who's happy for the world to see this.

In addition, Amelie dipped into her wide repertoire of jokes, including her current favourite "Where do fish keep their money? In a cave." and "What's white and goes up? A dead snowball.", before moving on to her famous range of impressions...


When it came to presents, Amelie was particularly pleased with Buckaroo, plus a pair of puppies called Max and Mitzi which come with their own stethoscope. She spent most of the day telling us how ill they were. Big Sis, meanwhile, did her bit for the sisterhood by giving her niece a vacuum cleaner.

As for me, there was only one thing I wanted, and that was a new camera. My parents, brother and sister had all agreed to club together, pool their resources and contribute as much as they could afford. So I was expecting a Kodak Fun Flash. As it transpired, however, I received the one I wanted, and spent the evening having a ball with my Canon. The photos on this blog should improve from tomorrow.

The even better news is that my brother's family finally arrived at six-thirty looking like a scene from a Christmas carol. Well, his wife looked like Jacob Marley's ghost. We just had time to wish her a Merry Christmas before she retired to her sick bed with a festive bucket. We had to swap the After Eight mints for Bisodol. But still, things could be worse. This could be Christmas 2009.

5 comments:

Phil's Mum said...

Yes, why DO our family always get ill at Christmas?

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