Pages

Subscribe: Subscribe to me on YouTube

Sunday, December 18, 2011

With the death of Christopher Hitchens, there's clearly a gap in the market for someone who can explain the evolution of animals after the big bang in a simple, visual style...


The big girly scream from an unseen source was actually God quaking in his boots.

But enough about my heavenly father, the real star of this Christmas is my holy mother, whose birth we celebrated yesterday...


I'm not sure the Alvin Stardust impression is really working, but other than that, she looks good. For her age. Although if there's one thing she's missing, it's a balloon hat and a badge saying '3 Today'...

As it happens, Amelie was three yesterday. And is again today. As she will be, right up until October 2nd next year. She's getting her money's worth out of that badge.

Anyhoo, our day with the birthday girl yesterday was actually very nice. I'm not saying that Lisa brings out the worst in her daughter, but Amelie couldn't have been better behaved. Having warned my parents that she's going through a challenging phase and can be a bit of a nightmare, she was nothing but a little dream all day. Apart from the mini-tantrum she threw when she realised we'd forgotten the iPad.

Admittedly, she gave the game away by handing a carefully wrapped present to my Mum with the words "This is a jigsaw puzzle", but other than that, she behaved beautifully. Our second present is visible at the end of the video above. It's not the piano, it's the set of coasters featuring a picture of us at Blackpool Tower. They're only four inches square, but each coaster has room for three ugly mugs.

With the gifts presented, we asked the birthday girl what she wanted to do on her special day. And then ignored it, and went to the park instead...


Amelie's so like her mother.

On the way to the playground, my Mum told me the sad news that her next door neighbour had died, which produced a shocked response from Amelie, who mis-heard the information and wanted to know why her Grandma's daughter was dead. I think she was worried it might affect her haul of Christmas presents.

Having established the truth of the situation, Amelie was able to relax and enjoy an hour or so at the park, mingling with the natives of St Leonards. All of whom appeared to be from Eastern Europe, and unable to speak English. It's a shame we couldn't stay longer, as I was on the verge of getting us back into the EU treaty, but unfortunately Amelie's services were required back at my parents' bungalow...


Not only is she a veteran Christmas tree decorator, but she's also getting pretty damn good at climbing onto rickety chairs and over-reaching with a glass bauble in each hand and nothing but a few electrical cables to hold on to. It's a skill you can't teach. Well, not legally.

Having berated my parents for not having a star at the top of their tree (if that's not rectified by next week, there'll be trouble), Amelie selflessly agreed to share my Mum's birthday tea, and successfully polished off a Happy Meal followed by two bowls of fruit salad and ice cream. She then grabbed her party bag, filled it with a collection of stones, twigs and acorns, and the two of us headed home wearing big smiles. And balloon hats. The inflatable Chloe was a bonus.

2 comments:

Dave said...

What an inspiring tale of family life.

Phil's Mum said...

Nearly as good as 'an everyday story of country folk'.  
Did you lie on the ground to take the photo of Am on the swing?  I'm sure I didn't hold her up at that angle - I couldn't!!