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Friday, February 24, 2012

I'm not saying I don't want Chloe to feel better, but she's now perked up so much she's ruining our lives. For a start, she's now eating such a lot that I had to make a mercy dash to the vets after work this afternoon just to buy her some more food. And that meant being forced to deal with a receptionist so rude I could have punched her in the face. But in addition to putting me through that ordeal, Chloe's managed to spoil Lisa's entire evening.

She (by which I mean Lisa, not Chloe) had programmed the TV to record a vitally important show this afternoon. She wanted to watch 'The Real Housewives of Orange County', which is pretty much the classiest show on ITV2. Personally I thought the only 'Orange County' was Essex, but this is about an entirely different set of bronzed women. It's essentially a public information film designed to show Lisa what life could be like if I had a better job.

Unfortunately we came home to find Chloe asleep on the TV remote control, having pressed a button to bring up the help menu. Lisa's recorded an hour of information on how to upgrade your cable services. Which would never have happened if we had a maid.

Mind you, Lisa's used to missing out. She had a midwife appointment yesterday, at which she was hoping to hear the new baby's heartbeat, but she was forced to cancel at the last moment due to a high risk of vomiting. Naturally I wanted to make it up to her, so once Amelie was asleep this evening, I pinned Lisa to the bed, spread jelly all over her, and dug out our old foetal doppler to record this astonishingly bad, lo-fi bit of distortion...


It's not so much a heartbeat as a panic attack.

2 comments:

Phil's Mum said...

It does sound as if the baby is racing around,  but then he/she has to get into training to be able to keep up with Amelie.

Phil's Mum said...

And you must admit Chloe is a very clever cat!