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Sunday, May 06, 2012

Just look at that fish-featured old woman with the ridiculous blonde hair, showing way too much flesh in a shapeless blue dress...

Well, holding her is Julia Donaldson! I haven't been so excited since Lisa met Augusten Burroughs.

For anyone over four-foot tall who prefers books without pictures and has no idea who I'm talking about, Julia Donaldson is the current Children's Laureate, and author of 'The Gruffalo', 'Sharing a Shell', 'What the Ladybird Heard' and numerous other tales that Amelie can recite off by heart. She's been this family's favourite author since Lisa put down the childcare manuals and started reading to her daughter. Which was about three-and-a-half years ago.

At the last count, Amelie had twelve Julia Donaldson books, and having read them all about a hundred times, I can tell you they're a darn sight better than pretty much any other children's literature currently on offer. Admittedly I'm still a 'Some Dogs Do' man at heart, but if Amelie refuses to let me read that one, I'll insist on Julia every time. She's like a modern day Shakespeare in a world of Dan Browns. And she's not averse to dressing like a sheep...


The rabbit on the left is her husband Malcolm. He's a qualified doctor. So not only is the NHS on its knees, but it's wearing bunny ears too.

Julia and Malcolm were appearing the Brighton Dome today as part of the Brighton Festival, alongside illustrator Lydia Monks, who is perhaps best known for drawing a picture of me with a tache. But if you think they were the only people on stage this morning, you'd be wrong. Here they are with Amelie!


Not our Amelie, obviously. She's been through a lot of difficult stages, but has yet to tackle the one at the Brighton Dome. Instead, the line-up above features Lydia Monks on the left (who's as foxy as a character from The Gruffalo), plus Julia Donaldson's great-nieces Lola and Amelie. The pensioners on the right, who look like they've won a competition to be there, are actually old friends of the Donaldsons, who assisted with the reading and performing.

As an ensemble cast, they were flawless. Malcolm played the guitar, Lola and Amelie acted, and Julia sang her heart out whilst dressed as an alien. They even got some kids up from the audience to take part in the show...


Just out of shot were another five hundred children with their hands up and an overwhelming sense of disappointment. Our daughter was one of them. But despite not making it into the line-up, there was a lot for Am to enjoy. Lydia did some live illustration with audience participation...


And there was a performance of my favourite Julia Donaldson book, 'What the Ladybird Heard'...


Amelie's been performing it since last summer of course, but she lacks the full range of hats. She did, however, tell me that she could do a much better goose than the girl on stage. She was also bitterly disappointed that I didn't get to be the farmer.

To be honest though, that wasn't her only disappointment. Having thoroughly enjoyed the show, Amelie was keen to get her copy of 'The Princess and the Wizard' signed by the authors, but despite leaving the auditorium as promptly as possible, we arrived in the foyer to find the kind of queue rarely seen since the South African election of '94. We joined it for about five minutes, but when the usher informed us that it was likely to take an hour to reach the front, common sense prevailed, and we abandoned our mission, leaving Amelie outside in the cold, peering longingly through the window at her all-time favourite author...


The reflection in that window which looks like Ranulph Fiennes on a polar expedition is actually Lisa on the south coast in May. She read yesterday's blog post, and decided to go prepared.

The good news, however, is that there's one sure-fire way of curing a three-year-old's disappointment...


And that's with the world's tallest burger. We rounded off our circular trip to the Dome by setting sail for the Marina, where we had lunch at the West Quay. By the time we left, we'd not only eaten some wonderful food, but devoured some great literature too. Amelie insisted on us reading 'The Princess and the Wizard' at the table. It made a change from the menu. And was cheaper than a main course too.

7 comments:

Phil's Mum said...

It sounds as if it was all well worth the money.

Phil's Dad said...

I like the look of the world's tallest burger!   But the picture shows Amelie having dry toast and chips - poor girl!!

Nora said...

My eldest went to her first concert/show when she was four....a man from a favourite show who put a mop on his head and sang rock n, roll.......I cried..

Lydia Monks said...

Hello! I'm so sorry that Amelie didn't get her book signed! If you send your address to:

L.Ace@macmillan.co.uk

I will send her a little something! I enjoyed your blog!

Best wishes Lydia 'foxy' Monks!!

Phil said...

It does sound quite moving.

Phil said...

Thanks Lydia!!! Fortunately we're not too proud to accept gifts, so our address is on the way.

Nora Cumming said...

sure was...and it sure wasn't the kind of concert I was used to!