I say, I say, I say... what do you call a man with a kitten on his head?

Phil.

I know, it's not the funniest of jokes, but it is true. I slept in the living room last night for pregnancy-related snoring reasons, and the fact that Lisa likes to spend the third trimester stretched out like a starfish, and I woke up twice in the early hours with a kitten standing on my forehead. The second time, I swatted it off like a fly, only to roll over and press my face into another kitten on my pillow. I haven't had so many whiskers on my chin since my electric shaver broke down.

But despite the catty behaviour of my bedfellows, our attempts at kitten-rearing seem to be going well. All three are eating well, and - more importantly - using the litter tray, and they're regularly gallivanting across the living room like a troupe of circus clowns. Only funnier and more prone to accidents. They're also getting braver and more friendly by the day. The evening before last, one of them fell asleep on my lap, and they're not even running away from Amelie any more. Which is something they'll probably live to regret.

In addition to our feline childcare activities, we're also doing well with our geriatric care. When I took Chloe back to the vet a few weeks ago, they only gave me a month's worth of tablets, because I said I wanted to check the price online, and possibly order the rest of her supply that way. Having done so, I'm stunned by the cost difference.

The vet charged me more than £1 per tablet, of which Chloe now takes half a day. Online, I can buy them for 30p each. And not from a fly-by-night company selling cheap imported imitations, but from this place, one of the largest suppliers in the country, selling genuine branded UK veterinary medicines.

The vet wrote me a prescription for 60 tablets, charging me £10 for the privilege (ink doesn't come cheap), but those tablets cost me only £18 online, instead of £62 from the vet. So even with the prescription cost, they're less than half price. I ordered them on Wednesday evening, and they arrived today, less than 48 hours later. They didn't even charge for the postage.

So my question is this: if Animed Direct can sell them at 30p each, pay for the postage, and still make a profit, just how much money is my vet making?