Christmas can mean different things to different people, but in this house it means sticking pens to your pyjamas with sellotape, adding a bulldog clip, and then making faces in front of a pink tree...

It's what I like to call a tip-top felt-tip top. She's working on a pencil skirt for the new year.

Anyhoo, festive fever is now gripping the Gardner household, and I've just been wrapping presents whilst singing along to Radio 2. They've replaced Jeremy Vine with The Beatles, so I was covering expensive tat with overpriced paper, and singing "The best things in life are free...". That prompted Amelie to stop me and say "No Daddy, the best things in life are chocolate", and she's got a point. Although in reality, we're both right. The best things in life are free chocolate. Which is why we're going to my parents' on Boxing Day.

As things stand right now, we're in the middle of a festive double-header of torrential rain and gale-force winds, but just 24 hours ago, it looked like this...

That's Amelie running towards the road in the background. It was the only way of staying warm. Other than hiding under the duvet, which is what Lisa was doing at the time.

You can see from that photo that very little's changed in the past five years. I'm determined to get my money's worth out of that buggy, and we're not chucking it until it looks as rough as I do, and Toby's running towards traffic like his sister. We should probably wash the cosy-toes though.

Anyhoo, the kids and I had the entire park to ourselves yesterday afternoon, which just goes to show that people aren't as stupid as you may think, and can recognise sub-zero temperatures when they see them. Lisa waved us off from the safety of her electric blanket, with the words "There's a huge pile of washing I need to sort out. Don't expect me to have done any of it by the time you get home".

You've got to admire her honesty. And I can confirm that she's a woman of her word.