This time last year I was in a beauty salon in Texas, being chatted up by a gorgeous young American girl. This year I'm spending Valentine's Day at home on my own. But funnily enough I'd choose my current situation over last year's any day.
(My general situation I mean. I'm not saying I'd rather be alone watching Trisha in my pyjamas, than sitting on a sofa in a Texan eyebrow waxers. Although now I think about it...)
Anyhoo, Lisa and I agreed not to spend any money on gifts this year. So I won't be getting that 'Love God' thong I've been wanting. I did however receive a card featuring an elephant (I think she's trying to tell me something) and the following message which was written on the back of the envelope:
Tragically my postman won't be needing to contact Lisa. Honestly, sometimes secret admirers are just too damn secretive. I'm sure they're out there, they just never bother getting in touch.
But anyway. Not one to be held back by self-imposed financial constraints, I've created the kind of Valentine's gift that money can't buy. Or to put it another way, something which isn't worth a penny. So without further ado...
Happy Valentine's Day
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