There's nothing like a bit of daytime TV to give you the willies. I was watching This Morning... um... this morning, and they had a self-proclaimed health expert / food guru type woman on there who, in between discussing oral itching and post-menopausal gout (I'm not making this up), happened to mention that you should never clean your teeth after eating sweet things, because the acid from the sugar temporarily softens the enamel on your teeth, meaning that if you immediately brush them, you'll scrub away all the enamel and die a sad and lonely death with brown rotting stumps in your mouth (or something).

Speaking as someone who's always reached for a toothbrush the moment I finish a Kit-Kat, I now realise my life is over and I might as well stop buying toothpaste.

So that's cheered me up.

As for the Oscars, well I may have chucked away a total of £14 on Clive 'Loser' Owen, Natalie 'Also-Ran' Portman, and Vera 'Out-for-a-Duck' Drake (which incidentally would have netted me £180 if they'd won), but fortunately I also had a couple of quid on Million Dollar Baby scooping both best picture and best director, a top quality prediction which earned me £16.50.

So that's a whopping £2.50 profit. I'm raking it in like nobody's business.