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Sunday, July 31, 2005

Interestingly, whilst out on Friday night, Donna happened to mention that the Pizza Hut at the Copdock Interchange near Tescos was the only branch she'd ever visited where she hadn't felt the need to complain. Now, even putting aside the fact that Donna's the kind of person who's been barred from most of the eating and drinking establishments in Ipswich, that's still quite a glowing recommendation. All I can say is, I wish she'd been there last night.

It started well, when Lisa and I actually managed to arrive two minutes before the rest of my family (there's a first time for everything) and I happily ordered a Meal Deal For 2. Which I pretty much planned to eat on my own. But having devoured some mildly disappointing Cheesy Wraps, the waitress brought over a pepperoni pizza for my niece, who'd ordered a plain margherita. I particularly enjoyed the girl's response when the mistake was pointed out. She asked "Won't she eat that?" in a tone of voice which implied it was our fault for having a six year old who refuses to eat what she's given, as opposed to their fault for bringing the wrong pizza.

Fortunately the mistake was soon rectified, and everyone had their main course. Except for me and Lisa. After another five minutes, Lisa received her lasagne, and by the time most of my family were happily finishing their pizzas, the waitress came over and vaguely said "Are you still waiting for anything?". I kindly pointed out that I'd had nothing to eat, and after a further delay of five minutes, I was eventually presented with a Cheese Feast, timed perfectly to coincide with the end of everyone else's meal.

The waitress warned me to be careful of the very hot pan, so I was slightly surprised to bite into a luke warm pizza. But on the bright side, I was able to impress my family with my apparently super-high pain threshold, by sitting in front of them and picking up the pan with my bare hands.

Having wolfed down my cold bread and cheese, I was particularly looking forward to my unlimited trips to the 'Ice Cream Factory'. I've only ever had it once before - at the Brighton Marina branch of Pizza Hut - when the ice cream machine turned out to be broken. So imagine my delight when the waitress cleared away the pizza plates and told me the Ice Cream Factory was out of order. Something they'd failed to mention when I'd placed my order an hour and a half earlier.

Fortunately I was promised unlimited bowls of ice cream from the freezer instead. Which would have been good if the waitress hadn't returned five minutes later, told me their freezer wasn't working properly, and handed me a bowl of defrosted ice cream. I was offered a free cup of tea as compensation, but having tasted the 'ice cream' and found it to be warmer than my pizza, and a bit like eating squirty cream that's been left out in the sun, I sent it back, and insisted on a free sticky toffee pudding instead.

The waitress agreed, and asked me if I'd like it with cream or ice cream. I said ice cream, she said it'll be the same as I've just had, and I quickly opted for cream. Which I don't even like.

So all in all it was the kind of meal that makes you glad you're on a diet. I just wish Donna had been there. If that's the type of meal they tend to serve, I'd quite like to have been barred.


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