It's always nice to be missed. Especially by people with guns. So to answer Mads' question from this afternoon, I was indeed doing "something worthy/unpleasant/life-threatening" today. I was driving around the M25. Which I think you'll find is all of the above.

So as we speak, I'm back in Brighton. But I did get up extra early just to write an informative article about people with personality disorders. Which you can read here. So you see I have posted today really.

My services as an expert in said field were in high demand too, as I received a text message halfway to Brighton, which read "Hey Mr Telly Critic. What happened in Big Bro last night? We were out partying in Hopton!". Partying in Hopton??? Is that even possible? I really should be more careful about the kind of people I give my mobile number to.

I'm now typing this one-handed, as Lisa has presented me with a Magnum ice cream. Obviously I'm on a diet, but fear not, it's a Magnum Light. 30% less calories than a standard Magnum. You can't go wrong. I might have two.

Anyhoo, I stopped off at my parents new house in Chelmsford on my way down, and spent a bit of quality time with my 6 year old niece, who was staying for a few days, and who declared "I like Lisa" within two minutes of my arrival. You see, I knew I wasn't the only one. Although one of us is clearly only doing it to get an extra Christmas present.

(I'm hoping for a DVD recorder).

It was a comment worthy of a five minute game of frisbee in the garden anyway, after which there was still time for a half hour Hunt-the-Cat competition, when my little fluffy Chloe went missing soon after arrival at the new house. We eventually found her behind the kitchen cupboards. The fitted kitchen cupboards. I'm sure that shouldn't be possible.

But it meant I was free to carry on to the M25, safe in the knowledge that my cat was being cared for while I was sitting in a traffic jam for the rest of the afternoon.

Although I have to say it was worth it for that Magnum. They're very nice. You'd never know you're eating a slimming product.