My ears are burning.

But on the bright side, if you're going to be talked about, it's always good to be talked about on a website called FU.CK. It's a bit of a dream come true.

I'm quite flattered anyway, particularly as the people involved in the discussion have over 30,000 posts to their name, meaning it's a miracle they found the time to read any of my writing.

Anyhoo, don't anyone go in and spoil it. It's like a fragile eco-system, where the beginnings of primitive life are just starting to appear. And frankly it could be the basis of a profitable fan club for me. I could sell Telly Critic t-shirts and everything. So feel free to watch from afar, but don't go in and stomp all over my delicate little followers (I'm looking at you here, Dave) by pretending to be Stuart White and complaining that I've never reviewed 'Look East'.

And besides, if anyone's going to go and mess with the minds of innocent young reality TV fans, it's going to be me. So hands off, I saw them first.