You can tell it's a Bank Holiday Monday - I'm writing a blog post while watching The Great Escape. Though I must admit I can't watch any scene with Steve McQueen in it without thinking of Griff Rhys Jones in the Holsten Pils ads. I even found myself joining in on the "two hundred and fifty??" line.

But anyhoo, it's been a quiet weekend of diet-breaking, X Factor-watching, and in-bed-staying, which is just as well, because Lisa and I had a lot of recovering to do after a day of small-child-rearing on Friday. The second half of Friday's blog post was actually written in the most trying of circumstances (namely having the chocolate-covered fingers of a two year old permanently attached to my laptop, and a six year old trying to explain the plot of 'Madagascar' to me), after Lisa's nephews turned up at her flat at lunchtime. I assumed they'd come to make amends for the frankly inadequate rendition of 'Happy Birthday' we were treated to over the phone the day before, but sadly it didn't happen. Lisa's youngest nephew still insists on singing "Happy Birthday two three" every time. I'm sure we're all very impressed with his counting, and he does a world-beating version of 'Bob the Builder' (or so his mother keeps insisting), but to be honest I'm not sure he fully grasps the true meaning of the birthday song.

The boys did succeed in delaying our departure from Brighton by an hour though, meaning that we reached the queue for the Dartford Tunnel a good seven miles before we reached the tunnel. I always knew it was a good idea to head back to Shotley Gate for the Bank Holiday weekend.

On the way, we proved we're gluttons for punishment by stopping off at my parents house in Chelmsford, where my six year old niece was staying for a few days. She tried to persuade us to stay for the night, by pointing out that the spare double bed is probably big enough for us both to fit into, before asking if Lisa is related to her. I told her she would be if we got married, whereupon she asked if she could come to the wedding. Still, it makes a change from her asking when we're going to have children, and where I sleep when I'm at Lisa's house.

She also began a conversation with the words "You know when you shave your legs..?", before telling us that her Mummy tells her stories about "Dentists & Dragons". I said "Dungeons & Dragons?". She said "No, Dentists & Dragons". So that's cleared that one up then.

We left my parents' at 8pm. I'm not saying we were stressed by then, but we did head straight to Tescos for cream cakes and alcohol. Let's just say it's been a high calorie weekend. But it wasn't me who got toast crumbs in the bed.