Lisa and I went to church last night. I think she's on some kind of spiritual quest, whereas frankly I just need a miracle. As it happens though, last night's trip was less about the blood of Christ, and more about the blood transfusion service. Being some kind of angel (or blood-sucking demon) Lisa has now donated blood forty times, and I'm pleased to say I've actively supported her on two of those occasions. The last time was May 2005, when I came away mentally traumatised and swore (literally) never to go near an organised blood-letting again as long as I live. But with me now on the verge of terminal prostatitis, I decided it was time to give it another try.

This time I supported Lisa from the safety of the comfy sofas in the church foyer, which I found far less traumatic, and having pre-booked a bloody appointment, Lisa assured me that I wouldn't have to wait long.

An hour later, and I'd had plenty of time to read all the leaflets on the entrance hall table, which interestingly included this one:


Two of my favourite words in the English language are 'free' and anything to do with food, so naturally I was interested. I'm like the bloke on the left - busy reading the menu while everyone else chats.

I assumed it was some kind of replacement for the usual post-blooding Hob-Nob, but as it turned out, this curry had strings attached. And I don't mean spaghetti...


It was actually advertising the Alpha Course, which I think comes between starter and main, and includes a lot of Omega 3. I wonder if the Hindu owners of the Curry Mahal know they're hosting a Christian outreach event every Tuesday night? And just how spicy is the chat? Do you have to swear like a trooper and talk about your sex life?

The choice of venue isn't actually that surprising though. The event's organised by the Church of Christ the King...


... and when your services look like a night out at a rock concert, I suppose you have no choice but to round them off with a curry.