It's official: my purchase of a pair of David Bitton jeans back in November has sounded the death knell for the entire company. Until recently, Dave had a total of three stores in the UK, each one situated in a prime retail location synonymous with chic fashion: Kensington, Brighton and... um... Croydon. But no more. The Brighton boutique in North Street has closed its doors for good. Word must have got out that I wore mine to bingo, and it's devalued the whole brand.

But when I'm not sending a fashion house into receivership, I'm busy transforming my Nina Gordon site from a dull 28-page shrine to an exciting 39-page musical extravaganza. Kind of. Well I've added eleven new songs anyway.

Talking of which, I had a hit from Google the other day for the phrase "Eb-Bb-Gb-Ab-Eb". It turns out I'm one of only two sites in the entire known universe to include such gibberish. I call that an achievement. I've cornered the market in odd chord progressions.

But anyhoo, if you think I've spent the past few days with my head in my hands, trying to transcribe songs which go E-G-C-A without getting blood on my guitar from a cut on my thumb, all for purely selfish reasons, you'd be wrong. I did it for the kids. I don't know if I've ever mentioned this before, but I believe that children are our future. Treat them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside. Give them a sense of pride to make it easier. And above all, don't let them listen to Whitney Houston.

So never mind people like me, I did it for Nina Gordon fans like this one...

I particularly like the way she reduces the audience to tears before the end.