Well I did go to Lidl yesterday, and I did spend my winnings, but I didn't buy cat food. Feeding your feline pales into insignificance when you can buy a fully-featured cat entertainment system for £7.99.
This was the scene ten minutes after I put it together. If you think the bed at the top looks particularly fluffy, look again. My cat's often mistaken for a cushion.
I have to say, considering the amount of money I've wasted over the years on food she won't eat, this was the best eight quid I've ever spent. She had the time of her life yesterday. When she wasn't curled up asleep in the branches of her furry cat tree (which to be honest was most of the time), she was playing with the dangling ball, sharpening her claws on the archway, and lying in the tunnel like a homeless heroin addict.
Needless to say I've now moved well ahead of Lisa in the 'Who does Chloe love most?' stakes.
In other news, I was browsing the website of Brighton City College this morning, looking for a cookery course for Lisa before I agree to marry her, and in a shock of earth-shattering proportions I discovered that Carol Harrison, aka Tiffany's Mum from Eastenders (and dizzy blonde Gloria in Brushstrokes), is teaching their screenwriting course. For just £40 I can spend five evenings with the star of 'Soapstar Superchef' and 'The Weakest Link Christmas Panto Special'. On the downside, she tells The Guardian that her methods involve sitting in a circle doing role-play, so it sounds a bit too much like group therapy for my liking.
But as the course description on the college website says, "Who knows, soon you could be watching your very own TV series!". Which would be quite an achievement considering that according to her IMDB page, not even Carol has managed to get a script on screen, and she's teaching the course.
You can't argue with the woman's acting credentials though (she played a receptionist in one episode of Minder), which at least makes her more appropriately qualified than Helen Skilton, the Blogging tutor. Oh yes indeed, City College offer an evening class in Blogging. Unfortunately, having scoured the internet for the words 'Helen Skilton blog', it appears that she doesn't have one. I think I might have to offer them my services.