I think the most important thing when choosing a bedroom suite is to make sure that every piece matches. You don't want to look like you've just piled stuff up to the ceiling without a moment's thought. Oh, and try not to chip any paint off the front of your plywood cupboard. It could ruin the whole ambience of the room, and sticking cardboard boxes on top to distract the eye probably won't work.

Anyhoo, I had a visit from not one, but two parents yesterday. My Dad's been itching to get down here and have a look at my hot water system, on the grounds that two plumbers with City & Guilds qualifications and decades of experience are all very well, but he can probably do better with a couple of DIY books and a trip to B&Q. I admit I was a little worried when he produced a magic wand and started waving it over the pipes with the word 'Abracadabra', but at least he didn't bring his rabbit.

Well ok, that's not entirely true. He didn't say 'Abracadabra'.

Anyway, having reserved a parking space outside by leaving a stepladder in the road, my parents spent an enjoyable afternoon on their hands and knees, surrounded by towels and bowls, while I tried not to get too stressed by the fifth cry of "Aaaarrrgh! There's water everywhere!" coming from the bathroom.

The result of it all is that my hot water system still doesn't work, but my hall carpet's a nice shade of brown, and I'm keeping a plant pot permanently under the pipe in the cupboard. It was all worth it though, because not only did my Dad get a bit of sea air when I threw him out of my flat, but he also helped me build my furniture tower in the bedroom.

Admittedly we both almost ended up in casualty, and I now have a blood blister the size of a blackcurrant on the palm of my hand, but we did learn the valuable lesson that brains go a lot further than brawn. Having discovered that the cupboard wouldn't balance on the top due to a wooden ridge around its base, we stood there like Laurel & Hardy, with my Dad scratching his head and me nursing the hand I'd just slammed in a drawer, until my Mum walked in, took one look at the situation, and suggested we turn the cupboard upside down. You haven't really seen genius until you've looked into the eyes of the woman who's just solved all your furniture problems. I should probably buy her a Mother's Day gift now.