It's Santa on a stick!

And trust me, you don't want to know where it enters his body.

Anyhoo, this little collection of festive E-numbers was given to me yesterday by the creative team behind the YMCA Christmas card, so thanks very much to them. I'm particularly grateful because I haven't had time to get to the Pound Shop this Christmas, so it's nice to see what I'm missing.

Just kidding. I happen to know that they didn't get it in the Pound Shop. They got it for free from a sexual health conference. Or something. I expect they give them out with every chlamydia test.

Anyhoo, to be perfectly honest, I don't really know which corner of the NHS it came from, but it's very nice. You rarely see quality like that outside of the Lidl clearance aisle.

I do, however, know where the thing originated. According to the packaging, it was made in China, which is where I like to get all my essential foodstuffs (Amelie thrives on their baby milk), and as it turns out, it isn't just a Santa on a stick. Oh no. It's actually...


Surely nothing with that many primary colours can be considered tasteful, can it?

But the subtleties of its design aside, my marshmallow Santa also features this warning:


That's because it takes them ages to get the wrapper off.