If there's one thing I like to do on a Friday afternoon when I should be working, it's to read the 'Free to Collector' section in the Brighton edition of Friday Ad. One man's rubbish is another man's car boot sale treasure, and let's face it, half the stuff in my flat has been thrown out by somebody else. And I include Chloe in that. Admittedly I've never actually found anything in Friday Ad that I could be bothered to drive across town to collect, but that doesn't stop me looking. And yesterday I finally hit Free Junk Nirvana...


By this time tomorrow, Lisa and I could be sitting out the back by the wheelie bins, sipping champagne in our very own hot tub! I just need someone who's willing to come over to Hove with me and stand at ground level with their arms out, waiting for me to say "Now!". I promise I'll empty the water out first.

But on the subject of bargains, I've just bought some new underwear. Some people swear by Marks & Spencer's or Calvin Klein, but I always say that for sheer quality and comfort, you can't beat Lidl. So having popped in for a sack of cat litter and some kitchen rolls, I came out with a pack of 'Men's Seamless Boxers'. At least that's what I thought. My receipt actually says this...


I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "Blimey Phil, they really were a bargain". Unfortunately that's not the price. It just means they were a two-piece set.

Admittedly I was slightly put off by the new title, but I tried them on anyway. They turned out to be a little snug, but I felt they showed off my figure quite well. So I said to Lisa "Why do you think they call them Retro Pants?". She replied "Because they would have fit you five years ago".

I hope the underwear gives me more support than she does.