The trouble with forcing Amelie to eat potato against her will is that she's liable to take revenge by making us listen to modern jazz all night. On the plus side, I think she's got a definite talent for scat singing which we may be able to exploit for financial gain, but on the downside, it's hard to plan your daughter's career when you can't keep your eyes open.

So I got up early this morning in the hope that Lisa could get some sleep while Am and I had fun in the sun. And what fun we had. For a start, I learnt the useful fact that Amelie loves the sound of my carpet cleaner spray. I only have to squeeze the trigger and she starts laughing, which is good to know. Admittedly I would have preferred to find that out without going through the trauma of seeing her projectile pooing across the living room floor, but you can't have everything. At least she was happy for the half hour it took me to clean it up.

So with the carpet gently drying in the April sunshine, Amelie and I hit the streets and went for an early morning stroll along the seafront. It was pretty uneventful. Apart from the UFO encounter and alien abduction. Looking down over the crazy golf course by the pier, the sea suddenly came alive with weird flashing lights...

I couldn't decide if it signalled the rise of an alien creature from the depths of the sea, or the landing of some kind of spacecraft, but either way I thought I had the new Cloverfield on my hands, so I kept filming. The authorities sent in a dog handler to investigate, but as the hound was sucked out of the sight by the UFO's tractor beam, the man lost the use of his legs, and the whole operation went tits-up. So we went to the corner shop for some porridge instead.

It was quite exciting while it lasted though. And it gave me an excuse to do my E.T. impression for Amelie. To be honest, she didn't seem that impressed, but let's face it, the words "Phone home" aren't going to mean much when your Mummy never turns on her mobile. I should have gone with "Ouch" instead.

Of course, I suppose it could have been the sun reflecting off the mirrorball on the roof of the pier...


... but I think aliens is more likely.