When I came out of work at lunchtime today, I spotted a lost-looking woman wandering aimlessly in the hospital grounds. To be honest, she wasn't hard to spot. I'm not saying she was fat, but if I'd wanted to talk about her behind her back, I'd have needed a full tank of petrol for the journey.

She called me over and asked for directions to a department I'd never heard of, so I helpfully pointed her towards one with a very similar name. She assured me that no, that wasn't the one she wanted, and that she was there to attend a clinic to give her advice on exercise.

Frankly I was none the wiser, so I suggested she walk back down to the main reception in A-block, about a hundred yards down the hill, and ask for directions there. She looked indignant and said "I've just walked all the way up here. I'm not going to walk all the way back down there."

You can't write comedy like that. I was tempted to give her some of my own advice on exercise, but I wasn't sure she'd appreciate it. Personally I don't think the clinic exists. I think it was just her doctor's way of getting her off the sofa.

But in news even more ground-shaking than a fat woman walking down a hill, Lisa's mother has stumbled upon documentary evidence which could disprove the widely held (and often mentioned) opinion that Amelie looks like her Dad. As unlikely as it may sound, it's just possible she could look like her Mum too. Following close examination of a photo that even Tony Robinson and Time Team would have struggled to unearth, I hereby present Exhibit A: Lisa in 1971...



The defence rests.