I was emptying Chloe's litter tray onto a copy of last Friday's Daily Mirror this morning (which had been generously donated to the cause of feline welfare by Lisa's mother), when I came across this advert in the motoring section...
It's the kind of multi-layered advertising campaign that just screams 'classy'. To the casual observer, the girl on the right is cleverly positioned to illustrate the pun about hammering down prices. But to a marketing guru like myself, she's actually there to go with the word 'cheap'. It works on so many levels.
On the subject of girls looking cheap, I bought Amelie's Valentine's Day outfit today. I was going to browse the designer labels of John Lewis and Debenhams for something suitable, but in the end I settled for the Crawley branch of Poundland. They had a better selection. In fact it's surprising just how much tat it's possible to pick up in one shop. I could barely carry it all back to the hospital after lunch.
The three of us are meeting a couple of eligible young bachelors for a romantic meal on Sunday, so I'm counting it as Amelie's first Valentine's date. And trust me, once I've dressed her up in heart-shaped nonsense from the pound shop, she's guaranteed to pull. Pull the wires out of my love-heart lights, that is.
In the meantime, I should probably be stockpiling food and investing in snowshoes. I'm working in Crawley for three days this week, and judging by the latest weather forecast, I might not make it back there on Thursday without a team of huskies and bags of true grit. I'd have booked into a B&B for the week, but frankly I spent all my money in Poundland.