Lisa asked me to take a photo of her fat face last night. That was her description, not mine. When I did, she told me to put it on my blog...


Either she's trying to motivate herself to lose weight, or she's about to have plastic surgery and wants a 'before' photo. The other possibility is that she's leaving me and needs a profile picture for Match.com.

But whilst I ponder that mystery (Nik Kershaw would call it a riddle), we're heading over to St Leonards to pick up a talented animal impressionist. I spoke to Amelie on the phone yesterday morning, and it was like having a direct line to Old McDonald's Farm. All she said was miaow, quack and baa. I could barely get a woof in edgeways.

But the good news is that Big Sis has arrived at my parents' for the weekend. Which means Amelie is now communicating with us via iPhone and Facebook. The last we heard, her auntie was trying to teach her to be a kangeroo. So by the time we get there, Big Sis will have run her over.