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Monday, July 05, 2010

After spending half the weekend crawling about on the new carpet with a screwdriver, a duster and a bottle of furniture polish, I've successfully turned the table's three parts into a gaping whole...

Turning the Tables
Although much like myself, the living room door's still completely unhinged.

In addition, I've investigated the quality of our three piece suite. Which is easy to do, as it's currently sitting in bits in the bedroom. Fortunately my Dad's going to put it back together for me. He's the son of a carpenter, which means that when it comes to furniture, he has the same healing qualities as Jesus. So I'm putting my faith in him, and hoping he can resurrect a couple of sofas.

In the meantime, I've done my best to soften the impact of all that work, by sorting out the cushions myself. The suite's original condition was just peachy, but Lisa and I decided that we'd rather use the spare set of covers that came with it. They're more of a magnolia colour, so the choice was between peaches and cream. We plumped for fat over fruit.

So I spent most of Saturday afternoon removing the old cushion covers and fitting the spares. Which led me to a further discovery. It turns out that the back cushions are all 100% duck feather. Which is appropriate because, as previously stated, they used to belong to a quack.

Anyhoo, if there's one thing the photo above demonstrates (apart from the fact that Amelie hasn't moved in yet), it's that we don't have any living room curtains. So having browsed the various online options yesterday afternoon, Amelie and I decided to hit the ground running, and walk into town. We ended up at Linens Direct, where we wiped our rusk-covered fingers on a range of samples, and chose a set of aubergine curtains from their 'Uno' range. They're not made to measure, so I hope they fiat.

From there we went to British Home Stores to look at scatter cushions. I'd previously decided that I'd be willing to pay as much as £5 per cushion. Which was a problem, as they were all either £10 or £15. I spent a few moments wondering why anyone would spend as much as £15 on a single cushion, before examining them, and finding out. Within thirty seconds I'd fallen in love with a chenille damson that I'd happily have paid the world for.

But as luck would have it, I didn't need to. Despite being part of their £15 'Premium' range, it was in the BHS sale for a tenner. So I bought four. I don't know what came over me. I'd never normally spend forty quid on soft furnishings without Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen holding a gun to my head. So I blame Amelie. I think she's driving me slightly insane...

All I said was "Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, take me to work".


Phil's Mum said...

If you put that furniture photo on Rightmove, you'll sell THAT flat in no time!!!

Dave said...

The word 'slightly' is clearly inadequate.

BS6 said...

Quite an epic post this one, spiritually inspired use of the English language, I must try to find some of that some of that absinthe carpet glue myself.

Phil said...

Thanks BS6. It's a well known fact that excruciating puns are the highest form of wit. I'll keep sniffing those fumes.