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Friday, July 09, 2010

I'd just like to point out that yesterday's blog post was brought to you by YouTube. You can blame them for the fact that it didn't appear.

I've been working in East Grinstead for most of this week, a schedule which involves lengthy, if leafy, commutes through the Sussex countryside. I was tempted to avoid them altogether by spending my travel expenses on a B&B for the night, but in the end I decided to inject some interest into the journey by sticking a camcorder on the dashboard and filming it. The journey, not the dashboard. I hoped to produce something along the lines of the BBC's 'London to Brighton in Four Minutes', but with the added chance of roadkill.

On the downside, it's not until you start filming from your car that you realise you're essentially just producing documentary evidence of all those electronic 30mph signs which light up when you break the speed limit. Never mind YouTube, I was expecting to see my video in a court of law. But that aside, I successfully produced a fifteen minute film yesterday which proved that even at four times the speed, the traffic at the Lewes Prison crossroads still doesn't move much.

A bit of editing later, and I set the footage to a rousing fourteen minute prog-rock song about England. No, really. I then went to upload it to YouTube. At which point I discovered that they don't accept videos more than ten minutes long. Which is discrimination against prog-rock if you ask me. So I turned to Blogger video. They do accept fourteen-minute films. But not if they're over 100MB in size. Mine was almost five hundred. I went to upload it to my main website, but that doesn't like files over 70MB. So I tried Tinypic. And that failed too. Possibly because it wasn't tiny. Or a pic.

So basically I ended up with a work of cinematic brilliance which I could only share with people if they were willing to come round to my flat and watch it in person. There was only one thing I could do:

Drive faster. And find a prog-rock song that's under ten minutes long.

The latter was obviously impossible, but I put my foot down this morning and filmed the journey again. I think I might have something usable, but it'll have to wait until tomorrow, because I need to go shopping tonight. And I'll publish the video of that trip on Sunday.


Phil's Mum said...

It leaves me breathless, just reading about it.  And in the meantime, holding our breath waiting for the gas man to come to call at 8 o'clock this morning (while you were driving at break-neck speed to East Grinstead) produced nothing at all - much like your video and possibly because it wasn't a Monday morning.

Dave said...

Perhaps you could go straight to DVD.