I was in the hospital library this afternoon, where I found this question being posed in the library newsletter...


I've seen a book on reflexology, so I know the answer to that, but here's the official response:


You can also get 'Carry On Matron' on DVD and look up porn on the internet. I expect. But that aside, I love the fact that the hospital library provides NHS workers with health-related novels. It's like giving David Cameron the box-set of 'Yes, Prime Minister'. Not that I have time for novels. I'm still reading the biography of Harold Shipman.

Anyhoo, the good news is that I now have two places to curl up with a good book. The three-seater sofa was so good that my Dad repaired the two-seater too...


I like to think of them as chair and chair alike.

On the downside, I took Amelie up to the new flat last night, and she informed me that she "Don't like it". To be fair, she's currently not liking all sorts of things, from milk, chicken and toast, to vacuum cleaners, puffer fish and GMTV. She still says "Hello News" every time Alistair Stewart comes on, and "Bye Bye Wheels" when we turn off the fan, but pretty much everything else at the moment is "Don't like it". She's like a bad-tempered focus group.

So she left me in no doubt about her lack of love for the new sofas, the curtains and the cushions I spent forty quid on. I even made the mistake of showing her the colours we're considering for the bedroom...


Needless to say, she don't like it. I can't wait until she shows me around her first flat.