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Thursday, July 26, 2012

I woke up this morning with a bright red spot on my lip, which I'm taking to be some kind of George W Bush stress-boil, brought on by my failure to listen to my penguin dreams. It's a concern, because if the baby's born now, I could look like a scurvy-ridden sailor in all the photos. I might have to start gurning just to cover it up.

Typically, now that I look like I've got herpes, I went and bumped into Claire outside A&E at lunchtime today. She's our Trust's answer to Florence Nightingale, and I haven't seen her since April of last year, so she probably thinks I've developed leprosy in the past eighteen months. Of course, if I had, I'd get to see her more often.

More ironic still, is that having returned to work after lunch, I had a phone call from my doctor, and discovered that I need a nurse more than ever. As predicted last Friday, my GP informed me that my white blood cell count is currently lower than the people who burgled Rosemary Snell. More worrying still is that having been somewhat cagey (not to say evasive) about precisely how low, she finally admitted that it's lower than it ever was in 2010. Which means it's below 3.1. She wouldn't be drawn any further.

She did ask if I've had any serious viral infections just lately, so I said not that I've noticed, after which I suggested that maybe it's the result of living with plantar fasciitis and a dodgy prostate. She said no, it wouldn't be. So having failed to identify the cause, she told me to have another blood test in six weeks time. Assuming I live that long. I'll have had a month of screaming babies and sleepless nights by then, so they'll be lucky to find a pulse.

10 comments:

Phil's Mum said...

On the other hand you will have had 4 weeks off work, which should make a BIG difference.

Claire said...

Funnily enough, I didn't notice you had leprosy at all and I'm usually quite astute in these things ;) I hope Amelie got her pebbles, I know how much she loves them.

Get some multi-vits with Iron, just to boost your immune system. Oh and sorry for reminding you about the sleep deprived nights you are about to incur!

Phil said...

Clearly the gurning paid off. And you'll be pleased to know that despite being preoccupied with pebbles, Amelie listened to every word you said. When she got home, she told Lisa you were off to do some teaching. She now thinks you work at a school.

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